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Stories of Lives Liberated

Angela

Angela

Once was a girl saved by grace, but due to my family circumstances, I was insecure, stubborn, and living in survival mode by my own will. Now I’m a girl living in freedom, not overcome by fear, because I know I can trust God to take care of my life.

Who I Was Before Christ:

I became a believer in Jesus Christ when I was very young. My parents taught me the Gospel, and I was blessed to feel and know God’s love at an early age. As I grew older, my family experienced a lot of disfunction: including alcohol abuse and infidelity, which created for confusion in my life. I knew God loved me, but I would think to myself, “My parents are Christians, so why are they hurting so badly? Why are they always fighting?” I grew up watching my dad make stressful decisions like putting us in overnight daycare, working an extra job to pay the bills. He had to make a lot of decisions under pressure. I grew up with this mentality; that I needed to just “figure it out” when life got hard. I slipped into survival mode not allowing myself the time to, stop, breathe, and ask God for help. There was a serious gap in my understanding of God’s love as a concept and God’s love applied. I simply didn’t trust God. When tough times came while I was in college, I chose drinking and a poor casual relationship, poor language, all with a poor attitude and plan. I knew I’d be returning to my Bible college the following semester, so I figured I’d screw around for a while. I had just come out of a relationship, which for the longest time I had tried to convince myself that God put together – to the point of engagement, so I tried my hardest to keep it going because I was afraid of any other alternative. God had other plans in mind for the both of us, but I was too stubborn to accept that and believe that God could heal me from the brokenness, which eventually came when it did in fact end. I considered all the time what God would want me to do, to trust him, but I was too pissed off, so I hung low for a while and just ignored his gentle warnings. In a nut shell, I ended up hurting the guy I had a casual relationship with, my emotions were completely out of control, and I felt lonely and away from God. I was totally miserable.

What Changed?:

I was so miserable following all the poor choices I had made; I finally just cried out before God, punching the steering wheel of my car, swearing profanities so loud that I thought for sure, someone would pull over to the side of the road because I was making quite a scene. I became broken before God. I had nothing left; I could come up with no other plan on my own to get myself through. I knew God loved me even though I didn’t feel it at the time. I came to a point before I went back to college that if I wanted to see changes in my life I had to let God make some decisions for me. Not only that, I had to be obedient to God’s voice in my life. This was terrifying because I don’t generally trust well, and I’m super stubborn naturally. God sent me help while I was walking and trying to trust. He sent me a number of people who all happened to attend this Church I kept hearing all about, one person whom I had known from where I grew up, and a couple of girls I just happened to know somewhat through nursing school at the time. I had visited this Church, The Rock, which I now attend, and I was taken away by the vibrance and depth of love that so many of the attenders had for Jesus. Holy cow, this was a serious love, not just one I studied in college and sang about in high school youth group. I was intrigued but did not attend right away. While all of this was going on, I met the man whom I’m now married to (Alex), and we have a beautiful baby boy (Asher). While we were dating, and even into marriage, Alex helped me work through a lot of the brokenness I was still facing, a lot of fear I still had even while I was treading above water with God’s big love floaties keeping me going. Alex showed me such an unconditional love that I began to consider thinking, that if an imperfect human being can care for me so much and be so patient with me, how much more can my Father in Heaven care for me? We started to attend the Rock Church. I surrounded myself with encouraging and loving people. I began to understand the vitality of reading Scripture and its pure necessity to my survival in a broken world.

Who I Am Now:

Who am I now? I’m a real, live, calorie consuming, eating and breathing human being, still loved and created by God. He still loves me, and I love him. I’m not going to say my life is perfect or that I’m not still affected by the baggage that I grew up with, but I know for a fact that when I humble myself before God, and I trust that He is ultimately in control of everything, He brings good things into my life. I’m able to discern more easily what is good and what is bad. Peace surrounds my heart and mind. Instead of trudging through a freaky jungle with the thought of God in my mind, I walk on a straight path with God next to me, and frankly life is just way better this way.

 
 
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