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Stories of Lives Liberated

Jeshurun

Jeshurun

A victim with a victim’s mentality whose uncontrollable emotions nearly killed him. Now a child adopted by Christ undergoing healing, and desiring to reach out to others with his story.

Who I Was Before Christ:

My childhood was a difficult one. I dealt with all kinds of abuse and was exposed to a lot of things that were traumatic to me and no child should ever be exposed to. Though I had friends in the neighborhood and school, I always struggled to form deep, meaningful relationships with others. I grew up angry: angry at God, angry at the world, angry at the hand I was dealt and angry at life. I got into fights in an effort to take my anger out on others, badly injuring someone on more than one occasion. I often fantasized about killing myself, and at one point I drank 2/3 of a liter of Jameson to try to accomplish just that. In spite of having academic and athletic success and being generally well-liked by my peers I felt that life was meaningless and I had no purpose or direction.

What Changed?:

The summer following my senior year of high school I met a girl at a party. I had just lost much of my circle of friends after being falsely accused of sleeping with one of my friends’ girlfriends. We hit it off and I asked her out. She agreed to go out with me and made a point of telling me that she was a Christian and her faith was important to her. This lead to anger and disbelief on my part because of my animosity toward and bad experiences previously with Christians. We dated for a few months before she moved away to school and continued to talk after. She encouraged me to give God a chance and find a church. One day when browsing the student groups on the U of M student activities office website I came across Rock Students. I figured it had to do with music and followed the link. I was deceived! It said “a church for 20-something singles.” I mentioned it to my girlfriend later, laughing at the ‘bait and switch’ I saw, but she talked me into checking out The Rock. I went, loved the music, and then this crazy old guy with a black leather jacket got up on stage and went on a rant about something. I eventually went back and got invited to a small group. It was a loving community – something I’d never seen before and I ended up giving my life to Christ.

Who I Am Now:

I am in the process of healing. There were a lot of wounds and sins that I hid from my Christian friends for a long time, but I’ve been slowly and surely allowing more and more light into the dark recesses of my heart and my past. God has given me joy and hope and a gift with music and outlets for my emotional side. He has given me reason to hope and reasons to be thankful. He has given me a loving family with my brothers and sisters in Christ. He has given me a desire to reach out to my blood relatives and I have begun working to forgive and show love to those who have hurt me. And that old guy with the black leather jacket? I realized that the things he said that I thought were so crazy were truths that I desperately needed to hear, and his passion in speaking was from a sincere love for young people and wanting to keep me from making poor decisions that would wreak terrible consequences in my life. He, and so many others at my church – The Rock – have spent many hours praying for me and helping me overcome my personal problems. They have loved me through times when I was unloveable and unreasonable, and helped carry my burdens emotionally, physically, and financially. I would not be here today without God graciously putting them into my life.

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