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Stories of Lives Liberated

Jim

Jim

Once despairing and depressed, trying to achieve happiness. Now at peace and hope-filled because of my God.

 

Who I Was Before Christ

I was really into math and science from an early age. A lot of my life questions seemed to be covered by the cosmologists and biologists, like where we come from and why we’re here. But the answers scientists gave were only partial answers, and often their answers were empty. I was terrified of death. I wanted hope, especially hope beyond death, but I found none. I thought that getting excellent grades and getting ahead in school and college would help, but the more I worked, the more I thought life and everything in it was meaningless and hopeless. Despite success, getting ahead, good family, good friends, I still had this feeling of emptiness. Something inside me said there must be something more.

 

What Changed?

I picked up a bible and started to read the New Testament so that I could read about who this Jesus was and what he actually said. When I read his words, they resonated with me. There were still some things that confused me, or even some things I couldn’t accept then, but I new at the heart of it Jesus had answers. I started going to church to learn. 

There was a breaking point where I realized I needed to turn over everything in my life to God because of what Jesus did for me. I had a close friend suddenly die in a car accident, which brought all my worries about death and purpose to the surface. I knew I had to commit myself to God completely. It says in Galations: “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” This decision was really hard for me, because I knew that I needed to give up a lot- my aspirations, my immoral relationship, my selfishness… But I knew that God would be better. I had an immediate sense that I was on the right track, and I could trust God. I knew that I was saved and that after death there will be peace and I will see God, which gave me joy and peace that I had never had. But in the meantime my life changed slowly.

 

Who I Am Now

I’ve had to work on trusting God. I’ve had to work out how to view science while still holding to what I know is true about God. I’ve had to work to overcome anxieties and actively trust a God I can’t physically see. I’ve had to surrender things to God when I selfishly didn’t want to. But the more I surrender and the more I learn about his faithfulness, the more I feel like it’s too perfect. God didn’t have to do this, but he did save me and make me whole. It feels too good to be true, but it is true. People say that my life is marked with peace and calmness. I say this is God working in me.

 

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