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Stories of Lives Liberated

Steve

Steve

Former drug addict who was tired of being lost. Now found through being liberated by Jesus Christ.

 

Who I Was Before Christ

I grew up in a good home. We went to church, had lots of fun together and were very close. I had friends, even though I was hardly a loyal friend. I knew of God but I was more interested in having fun and playing, or girls for that matter. I thought reading a bible was stupid since TV was much more interesting.
Growing up I was very insecure and uncomfortable being in my own skin. I loathed who I was. I viewed myself as too skinny, not good enough, didn’t have what others had, which equaled hatred towards myself. You name the negative thought, I probably wrestled with it. I was broken in my mind as far back as I could remember. On top of that, I was prideful and arrogant. Not a good combination. On the outside I was very shy and easily embarrassed. I viewed God as a punishing God who didn’t like me or made a mistake with me. I often felt that God was cruel, especially when “he took people away from me.“ This view of God fueled my self-pity and anger later in life.
I desperately took to things to try to patch the hole inside me. I was obsessed with girls, sports, video games and anything that was better than what I felt. My freshman year of High School I started to drink alcohol and smoke pot. As time went on, so did my habit. My senior year my grandpa died in a car accident and of course God was first in line for me to blame. I got high that day and believed God was punishing me. I told God to “blank off.” That sent me into a fiery downward spiral. My use spread to other things, and I tried to completely check out of reality. This also led to more depravity in my life. I would betray my friends at the drop of a hat, lie to my family, steal whatever I wanted and used whomever to get what I wanted. Thankfully my parents caught on and put me into treatment, but I didn’t stop. I just had to lie more. My life was extremely dark and I was consumed with not good things. My life was a living hell. August 27, 1997 my use finally took me to a cross roads of either death or sobriety. I chose to finally come clean and went back to treatment. I went to meetings, worked my program and was very afraid to return to using. I still struggled with who I was. I knew of God, but I got confused and didn’t want anything to do with Christ. I tried everything. I even hugged plants. Yes PLANTS. Then a close friend of mine came to know Jesus and something was different in him. I was curious. He invited me to church and I eventually said yes. The first time I stepped into the Rock in Minneapolis, I knew something was different. People were genuine, but more importantly, so was their faith.

 

What Changed?

I was curios and started wondering who this Jesus really was. So I started seeking. I was tired of failed attempts at this higher power stuff, and fed up with being let down by the gods that I made up. I needed real answers. Relationships didn’t work, material things didn’t work, and my self-destructive behavior was still winning.
So a few months went by and on March 25, 2002(my birthday) my head and heart were filled with every thing I done, felt, thought and desired and I couldn’t escape. I remember leaving work that night and how I tried to bargain to get Him to shut up. Finally, I surrendered. I broke. I said in my heart and out loud in my truck, who are you? I remember God saying to me, “ I have always loved you and never have left you.” That was the first moment I truly believed. I asked Jesus into my life and for him to change me. He listened.

 

Who I Am Now

Since knowing Christ, I have had a lot of ups and downs. My life is far from perfect. God has drastically changed my life. My hope and identity is in him. There is hope and forgiveness in my life. God has blessed me with a wonderful wife and beautiful children. I know that I have purpose and meaning in my life and that I matter to Him most of all. I am free from my addiction and am truly grateful for what God has brought me through. I have learned to lean on him in my times of struggle with my flesh and am made new each and every day by his grace. I have seen God provide time and time again without fail, and He often reminds me of his promise in Hebrews 13:5
Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”

 

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